I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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