R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
thus making me awesome and them whores
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
