I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
we're so committed to being not committed
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize