Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
