You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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