Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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