Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
