elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
