Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
