Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
