It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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