Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
