I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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