I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
