Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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