why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
