She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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