Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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