for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
