Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
