How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
