That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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