her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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