I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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