We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
