I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
