You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
