He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
