Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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