like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
So. Much. Porn.
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