the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
