you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
there's paper in my vomit.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
