Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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