It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
