Tell her she can't have a vagina
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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