you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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