I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
