Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
