sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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