this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Randomize