today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
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I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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