Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My bed smells like the plague
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
