I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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