Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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