I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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