so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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