whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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