exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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