What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
