And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
