Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize