WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
