so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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