yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
